I hope you all had a very Happy New Year. Did you see the beautiful Blue Moon in the sky? Did you make a wish?
Towards the end of 2009 I discovered a beautiful path along which I intend to travel in 2010. It was like a revelation to me, but it was something that had been right under my nose all along. I found a home in the Universe & friends with similar ideas, beliefs & faith. I have always felt a little bit of a loner, a bit of an oddball really. Lonely, yes it's a strong word, but the right word for it. Despite being fulfilled as a mother & wife & being loved as a daughter, sister & friend a corner of my heart has always felt a little lonely because I have never before met people with whom I could talk openly, freely & from my heart without feeling bashful & foolish. I am often teased about my intense love for my animals. In the past I have blushed a little when I have read back some of my more emotional blog posts. I have bounced from one 'fad'to another, touching on things such as Reiki & Crystal Healing but not appreciating their place in a much larger faith. One thing I am so blessed with is a loving & suppportive family, who have never ridiculed me in my various quests even if they have not understood or have maybe worried a little about me.
So what is my big discovery you will be asking? I have discovered that the words written across my heart & soul are Pagan words. It's not a case of becoming Pagan, I am Pagan in every fibre of my being. I feel & sense the elements of Fire, Earth, Water & Air all around me & wonder at all of Nature's great bounty. But I also feel a fifth element - the great Spirit. The Spirit of Life, of all things. I feel the turning of the Season's & notice the cycles of the Moon & the Sun & feel how they affect the land. I feel humility & understand that I am just a speck of sand in the great order of things, but I also understand that I have power & a deep responsibility to be kind to myself, to others & to the Natural World. I feel great pain at the damage that Mankind is doing to our beautiful planet. In quiet moments of meditation I can sense that there is another dimension to which we all will travel at the end of our current life's journey & I believe that Death is not the end of things, but rather a time of rebirth, hope & the beginnings of a new journey. I have felt through my own fingertips the power of healing. These things I have always believed, but I have never before quite been able to form them into words. Part of me has been a little scared I guess to embrace things that I do not fully understand. But now I know it is time for me to learn so that I can more fully & openly express my beliefs & feelings.
So now I am 'born' I am thirsty for knowledge. There are many paths within Paganism & I must find the right one for me. Reading about Druidry has resonated deeply with me. But I am also tripping happily through the beautiful pages of a book 'Hedgewitch' by Rae Beth about solitary witchcraft which has also felt comfortable with me.
I am very excited & hope you will follow me on my journey as I share it with you, even if these ideas may be alien to you or it may seem that I have indeed finally gone crazy! ;-)